The Princess is 5!

My fashionista

With her Beads of Courage

She and I had a little date this week at Five Guys. She said we should all live here, lol.

Fun at a family party

So beautiful!

At her Grandma's birthday tea.

She has been counting it down for weeks! Five is sooo much more grown up, you know? She asked me last night if she'd still have to listen to me when she turned five? ummm yes love, for a very long time, lol. She asked if she'd have to start loading the dishwasher as a chore. Then, before I could answer her, she said "We'll have to think about that." She asked me what we bought for her present, and I asked her what she wanted for a present. She grinned and said, "how bout a phone? LOL.

Vivian is a gift pure and simple. It hasn't been easy every step, and it probably never will be, but oh she is a gift. She blesses us all and I couldn't love her more. Not possible.

We'll party it up today. Off to have a little Just Dance marathon with her now :)

And while today is full of joy, in my heart and mind, I can't help but wonder about her first family, somewhere half way around the world today. What are they doing? Are they thinking about her? Is this day heartbreaking for them? I wish I could tell them she is safe, and healthy, and so strong and beautiful. That we love her with our whole hearts.  I pray that God gives them peace, and that somehow they know.

A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me. Jody Landers

A few pictures from the past week.

The kids in their ONEless shirts. This is a great organization, who blessed us with a grant and more importantly prayed for us through the process!

At Da Kines for burritos by the beach on Gideon's birthday. Yummy!

Georgia's ready!

A little fun

I snapped this one in the Tractor Supply (we hang out in there sometimes, lol) My little boy is turning into a handsome man!

In Daddy's hat

Lorax cupcakes for Gideon to celebrate with his friends at cubbies!

Four years ago today.

Four years ago today, I was 39 weeks pregnant with our fifth child. I had been in the hospital for 6 days to monitor my pre-eclampsia. I had a burden for adoption for about 5 years. My husband had not felt the same.  When I first felt called to adopt, I was so sure, that it never even occurred to me that Michael wouldn't feel the same. I just knew this was supposed to be part of our life. And we loved children and wanted a big family. So, when he DIDN'T feel that way, I was confused, perplexed. I ordered agency packets, and watched videos, and even attended an adoption conference at our church. I pushed for a while, and argued, and then realized I wasn't handling it right. That this was huge, and we had to both be 100% in, and if we weren't then, no. But it was hard, because I had such strong feelings about adopting. So, I prayed. Over and over, asking God why did I feel this way, if it wasn't supposed to be. To change my heart or to change Michael's. And time passed. It would come up once and while, and he knew how I felt, but he still didn't feel the same. And then, when I least expected anything. I am in the hospital, missing my children at home and MORE than ready to meet our 4th son.  Michael comes up to visit me after he got off work. The last night before meeting our baby, as I was scheduled to be induced in the morning. I remember talking and being excited that it was finally going to be happening, and I'd be able to be home again. All of us together. And Michael asked me if I knew how much adoption cost? And I was a little confused, wondering why he'd even ask me that, but I said yes, and quoted a figure. And he told me, as he started to cry( And he rarely ever cries) that he knew. He knew that adoption WAS supposed to be part of our family story. That he knew there was a child out there waiting for us. And I was overwhelmed. Thrilled. Surprised. Scared. Thinking, Now? You are telling me now? I'm giving birth tomorrow, lol.

And that is what we did. Our fifth child, Gideon was born the next day, after a blessedly short labor. We fell in love all over again. And we brought him home, and started researching right away. And our sweet Vivian came home when he was just 18 months old.

It's fun to look back and see the story God weaves. Some things I don't always understand, but I know that His timing is perfect. And I'm blessed, more than I can ever say, or deserve.