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Saturday, October 5, 2013

Four years ago today.

Four years ago today, I was 39 weeks pregnant with our fifth child. I had been in the hospital for 6 days to monitor my pre-eclampsia. I had a burden for adoption for about 5 years. My husband had not felt the same.  When I first felt called to adopt, I was so sure, that it never even occurred to me that Michael wouldn't feel the same. I just knew this was supposed to be part of our life. And we loved children and wanted a big family. So, when he DIDN'T feel that way, I was confused, perplexed. I ordered agency packets, and watched videos, and even attended an adoption conference at our church. I pushed for a while, and argued, and then realized I wasn't handling it right. That this was huge, and we had to both be 100% in, and if we weren't then, no. But it was hard, because I had such strong feelings about adopting. So, I prayed. Over and over, asking God why did I feel this way, if it wasn't supposed to be. To change my heart or to change Michael's. And time passed. It would come up once and while, and he knew how I felt, but he still didn't feel the same. And then, when I least expected anything. I am in the hospital, missing my children at home and MORE than ready to meet our 4th son.  Michael comes up to visit me after he got off work. The last night before meeting our baby, as I was scheduled to be induced in the morning. I remember talking and being excited that it was finally going to be happening, and I'd be able to be home again. All of us together. And Michael asked me if I knew how much adoption cost? And I was a little confused, wondering why he'd even ask me that, but I said yes, and quoted a figure. And he told me, as he started to cry( And he rarely ever cries) that he knew. He knew that adoption WAS supposed to be part of our family story. That he knew there was a child out there waiting for us. And I was overwhelmed. Thrilled. Surprised. Scared. Thinking, Now? You are telling me now? I'm giving birth tomorrow, lol.

And that is what we did. Our fifth child, Gideon was born the next day, after a blessedly short labor. We fell in love all over again. And we brought him home, and started researching right away. And our sweet Vivian came home when he was just 18 months old.

It's fun to look back and see the story God weaves. Some things I don't always understand, but I know that His timing is perfect. And I'm blessed, more than I can ever say, or deserve.

2 comments:

  1. What a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing!

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  2. We adopted 2 children with B Thalassemia Major from India 10 years ago on blind Faith! Our Spunky Josy was 3 and our sweet Sanjay was 2 and a half. We knew nothing about the disease except what I read on the internet. My husband was deployed to Afghanistan when we began the adoption process. It took 9 months from the time I first saw their photos ( we hadn’t even considered international adoption at that point) to the time we brought them home ( Hubby came home from IRAQ 4 days after I came home from India with the kids!) Sanjay was going through a BMT in February 2011 when he developed a brain bleed and God took him home. We miss him every day! Praying for your Thal girl, Vivien…Sanjay developed Fanconi Syndrome ( Cranky Kidneys) on Exjade, and we had to reduce his dose. Meds have always been a balancing act for our two with Thal. They have always been transfused every 4 weeks since we brought them home. They had porta-caths put in after their first USA transfusion (their poor little veins were worn out and it was so painful !) They wore their desferol “balloon” pumps for 12 hours every night for years before Exjade became available. Now Josy is on a daily cocktail of Exjade, Ferriprox and Hydrea for chelation and to try to space her transfusions apart even farther and to get her iron down. She has formed an allergic reaction to desferol, so we changed the game plan. Currently she is still transfused every 4 weeks, and her hemaglobin pre- transfusion is about 8.5-9.2. ( she typically doesn’t show any tiredness or headaches unless it gets below 8.2…which is really rare. Well, anyway…it has been really nice reading about others adopting kids with Thal Major…we don’t know ANYONE else with it. I have had to become a “nurse” too, and advocate care for our kids, but it is sooooo worth it! God bless. You can read more about Sanjay on his CaringBridge site if you like. Your kids are gorgeous!

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