Getting antsy.....

We started back to school this week. Trying to find our routine again. I'm having a hard time because my mind is on Ch*na. All sorts of mental checklists, lol. Things I need to pickup still. Medications we need to take with us. Warm clothes, it is cold in northern Ch*na right now! Especially for this Florida girl. Stickers, and bubbles, and candy to have when we first meet the kids. You see, we have been anxiously, excitedly waiting to finally meet, hold, love on these little people for 9 + months. They don't necessarily feel the same way. They don't understand what a family is..... they don't know we will be there forever for them. They have been hurt, and left, and have lots of reasons not to trust us. Add in that we look funny. We smell funny. We don't speak their language, and well, lets just say if a lollypop helps make that intial meeting easier for them, then have two!

The day we met Vivian was so abrupt. All adoptions take place in the capital city of each province. So, if the orphanage is hours away from the capital, they bring the children there. Vivian's orphanage was a little over 3 hours away. From what we could tell she really hadn't been out of the orphange much at all. She was afraid of so much. The playground, forget it. No swing, no slide. No grass even. It freaked her out! So on our "Gotcha day", she woke up and was dressed and left the orphanage with a nanny and took a bus for 3 hours. Then, she was brought to a government office, where we met. They walked in with her, and she was shy but ok. She had the little doll we had sent her, and we squatted down to talk with her. She repeated Mama and Baba (Daddy in Mandarin) after the nanny. I tried to pick her up, but she pulled away, and I was content to give her time. However, after only a few minutes, the nanny told our guide, that she had to go and we needed to take Vivian. So I picked her up and she was terrified. She arched her back and screamed. We tried candy, and toys, and drinks. We looked out the window, and walked the hall. Nothing helped. Our guide quickly had our family picture taken for the adoption paperwork (you can imagine how that looked, lol). Then, he quickly herded us downstairs and out of the building, with Vivian screaming the whole way. Our driver pulled up in the van, and we hoped in and headed back to the hotel. The whole experience couldn't have been more than 20 minutes. It felt abrupt. Traumatic. It is just hard. These children are so brave. They are strong and resilient. Vivian settled down in the van. She took a few puffs from us. She was quiet for a few days. She wouldn't move. If you laid her down, she stayed lying down. If you sat her, she sat there. She was 2.5 years old. We just were very gently with her. Held her. Fed her. Coslept. Offered treats, and toys. Bottle fed her, and worked on eye contact. And slowly, she bloomed. And she's never looked back.

Then

Now :)

We know that we still have mountains to climb. That the months of paperwork, and fingerprinting, and social worker visits, and fund raising are only the beginning. We are just ready to go. To see them, hold them, and start the work of helping them heal, and knit into our family. We are on day 7 of our travel approval wait. It could come ANY DAY NOW.   or, it could be 2 more weeks. Hence, my antsy feelings. Constantly checking email. Listening for the phone. I know it's in God's timing.... I just wish I knew when it was, lol. Please pray for Georgia and Calvin's hearts. That God would prepare them for a family. That he would give them peace through the process. That they will know we love them and that they are safe even in all the changes. We still are short of the total fees, but we are getting closer. We have two grants we are waiting to hear from. Please pray that God will provide exactly what we need.  Hoping to post we have TA soon!